The “Beauty” of Weddings

Ah, wedding season. The older I get, the more weddings I participate in, hear about, attend, etc.

Weddings really do bring out the worst in people. It is actually very sad, but I have seen some life-long friendships ruined because of weddings. Some brides make it so incredibly stressful that there becomes some kind of unspoken pact that, after the wedding, the bride and her bridesmaid will never talk again. The two put on a front for the wedding and, as soon as it is over, they are de-friending on Facebook and deleting numbers in their phones (which is really ironic, because your bridesmaids are supposed to be “your best friends”, “your support group as you go into your marriage”, “those who have and will walk by your side”).

Weddings are supposed to be fun, but we have chalked them up to have such high expectations, that when something goes wrong, the whole thing is ruined. Common complaints that I hear revolve around: “She wants us to be there at 9 AM, but the wedding doesn’t even start until 5 PM”; “She wants us to spend $150 to get our hair and make up done but I would rather do it myself”; “I don’t understand why I have to pay $200 for a tux”; “Why they invite her to the wedding and not him?”; “I have to go to dance classes and the rehearsal dinner and the bridal shower and the bachelorette party and a bridal party soccer game. This thing is eating up my life!”

I think all of these complaints come from the fact that we are innately selfish by nature, and we forget that the wedding is not about US. As bridesmaids, we forget that we do not need to be the most beautiful, tannest, best hair and makeup, skinniest, etc. one out there, because all the attention will really be on the bride (and, you will stand out in pictures if you try to out do everyone else anyways). We forget that the bride is probably very nervous and is anticipating something going wrong, so she wants you to be there early just in case (in fact, one of my friends got in a car accident on her way to a wedding this weekend–you can just never predict circumstances). We forget that the bride and groom probably spent agonizing amounts of hours and conversation putting together their guest list, trying to make the best decisions and unfortunately having to make cuts due to budget (they are the ones footing the bill, after all).
As humans, it is really easy to get caught up in ourselves, to forget to look at the big picture, and to get offended when a decision does not suit our own personal beliefs. We forget, however, that putting together a wedding is so much bigger than ourselves.

(And, for this very reason, I will probably either elope or throw a backyard bar-be-que if I ever find someone to marry because drama is not especially my forte).

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