First of all, I want to give a quick shout out to everyone who has helped view and share my video. At this moment, YouTube says it has 8,698 views (Click HERE to be the 8,699 view). And, I hope everyone laughed, because I was definitely awkward on purpose.
I wanted to devote a little more space to explaining the book a little further. There are a plethora of themes and ideas running through it. It’s about love, falling out of love, falling back into love. It’s about balancing a very messy personal life while still trying to build a professional career. It’s about forgiving, learning to curve dysfunctional tendencies, combating anxieties of dating in this modern world. If I were to sum it up in one statement, I would say it is about finding a sense of self (which, after trudging through all of this, I believe may be the purpose of life).
The book is divided into three sections. The first section discusses the things I had to go through in order to heal from a break up: the confusion I felt, the anger, forgiveness, understanding why it wouldn’t work. The second part discusses how, it’s not necessarily losing the person that is the struggle, but rather an identity crisis, and how I overcame that identity crisis, through traveling, going to yoga, and really, just observing the world around me. The last part covers dating in the modern world; how the dating world has changed, and how I, as a 20-Something, am navigating that, and positioning myself as a single-ite.
Now, everyone seems to have their own opinions on the topic of ‘giving advice to 20-Somethings’: “Make sure you tell them to keep separate bank accounts”, “Make sure you write about the importance of going to couple’s Bible study”, “Make sure they know if it doesn’t work the first time, why will it work the second time?”. But, in my own life, I don’t really like to dictate what people can and can’t do; we are all our own people, we all operate under our own free will, and what works for me won’t necessarily work for you. So, I tried to keep the focus of how I was able to establish my own sense of self more so than what I think is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. It’s a here is what I did, here is what I learned from it, and maybe it might inspire you to try the same thing, or to try something different, but overall, encourage you to take charge of your self.
If you have ever read my blog, you will find similarities in the kinds of topics I write about, and the way in which I introduce those things. Writing in a book versus a blog allows me to be more intimate. Instead of reading about “this friend I had”, you actually get to know who those friends are, and what I think about them. Instead of reading about “this one time I was upset”, you actually get to know why I was upset. Instead of ambiguous statements like, “I one time”, you get to know about the exact time and place of the incident. It’s all 100% a true story.
It is accurate that being a 20-Something sucks. We are stuck in this awkward stage of being expected to be adults while still carrying some immaturity and fear. And, dating is potentially the worst thing ever, because while you are trying to establish yourself as a professional in your career, your personal life is always in shambles. No matter where we are in the dating cycle–very single, the very beginnings of a relationship, in a relationship, or getting over a relationship–we are always in some kind of state of suffering. I think that this functions, because when we do get married, we appreciate those years that much more, thus dating becomes a necessary stage we must triumph. I am constantly running into people who are in some place of this continuum, I just want to give them a copy of the manuscript and say, “Here, turn to page 10. I wrote about exactly what you are going through. I think it will help you”.
Everyone makes fun of me, because I turned myself off of dating while working on this project, but I knew I had to, because I wanted to guarantee to you, my reader, that I would deliver the most authentic product possible. I did a lot of things to ensure I wrote from truth and honesty. I went to my ‘counselor’ (aka my grandma) to drudge up some emotions when I wanted to write a part about being angry. I re-visited some playlists and diary entries and watched sappy movies when I wanted to write about the love story. I interviewed those closest to me to find out, from their perspectives, how I was dealing with certain stages at certain times. I wanted to take you on the emotional roller coaster with me, from the very depths of despair, to wading through the confusion and shock, to being exactly where I am right now: happier than I have ever been. You will definitely laugh, maybe shed a small tear. Getting dumped was THE BEST thing that ever happened to me.
The current status of the project: written, done, and edited. It’s about 90,201 words, sitting as a Word document, waiting for the day an unknown call shows up on my phone to tell me someone is just as passionate about publishing Happily Never After as I am. And, I am confident it will happen. It’s just a matter of time.
I want to say thank you, again, to the sung and unsung voices of making this book possible. I can’t wait for you to read it. I think you will even find a little piece of yourself in my experiences, because, after all, we all must navigate this thing we call ‘the human condition’, and I certainly am not the first person to go through these things.
I promise to post an update when I have one.