Why You Should Date a Former Boy Scout

When you hear the word “Boy Scout”, the image of a super nerdy pack of boys, all dressed in matching khaki outfits, sitting around a campfire and discussing brands of Swiss Army Knives and the newest flavor of freeze dried food R.E.I just distributed. In high school, dating a Boy Scout might have degraded you on the social ladder, but as an adult, consider the merits of dating a Boy Scout:

They are always prepared: Chick Fil A forgot to toss in a fork for your salad? There’s an extra in the glove compartment. You accidentally cut your finger on your Amazon box? There’s a First Aid kit for that. It’s the first time you’ve been to the pool this summer and you haven’t shaved your armpits since December? There’s a tool on the pocket knife for that. You will never have to worry about forgetting anything ever again, because the Boy Scout probably already has it (and if not, he can rig something to fix it). Heck, they probably even carry Tampons around with them for potential nose bleeds (although, it’s likely they are clueless on how to use for the intended purpose).

They will say nothing if you don’t shower for a week: They say that one of the biggest fears women have when beginning a new relationship is having their potential significant other see them without make up; some women will go a years and even sleep in their make up because they are so self conscious. In my opinion, if you are dating to marry someone, there are certainly going to be some instances when they see you in your not-best-moments (like when you are dry heaving from food poisoning or are in child birth), so there’s no point in concealing your “true identity”–you might as well be up front and honest as soon as possible. So, you know when you are dating a Boy Scout, they, themselves have probably gone at least a week without showering, and they are used to hanging around other smelly people who also haven’t showered or worn make up for a week.

They will not break your bank: Maybe its just me, but all the former Boy Scouts that I know are very frugal (I like to say ‘cheap’, but my dad always corrects me and says, ‘frugal’). Besides a few potentially necessary pieces of equipment, camping and enjoying the great outdoors is virtually free. Boy Scouts grew up learning how to start fires from rocks and sticks, how to build an igloo if you get stuck in an avalanche, how to smartly and safely hike a trail–rocks, sticks, snow, trails–all forms of activities that require no money.

They know how to fix everything: Garage door opener run out of batteries? Headlight go out on your car? Sunglasses break in the middle of a road trip? Sonicare Toothbrush suddenly malfunctions and goes into hyperdrive? No problem. Because the Boy Scout is equipped for anything, they have tools to fix tools to fix everything (this also saves you money from having to call in the expert).

They are clean and organized: When I get home from a trip, I usually just kind of throw my stuff in a pile somewhere and hope that I can find it when I need it again. Inevitably what happens it, I never take the time to kick the dirt off my shoes, so it gets everywhere; I didn’t roll my sleeping bag properly, so its cumbersome the next time I pull it out; I didn’t take the time to dump the water out of my Camelback, so the spout is now moldy and corroded, and then I end up spending more money, replacing my equipment, because I didn’t take care of it in the first place. But, a Boy Scout knows the importance of  keeping everything clean and organized–for longer use, quicker access, and better efficiency.

You will never get lost: Everyone gets really excited when the Apple Store comes out with a new ap that replaces some old way of doing something–until your iPhone runs out of battery or doesn’t get service, and since we’ve relied so much on technology, we’ve forgotten how to navigate and orient ourselves without our phones. This totally happened to my sister and I this summer; what we thought would be a leisurely one hour hike turned into a six hour, 12 mile disaster that ended in us having to be rescued. Had we been trekking with a Boy Scout, we would have known that (a) the trail was, in fact, not looping around but rather changing direction, that (b) the flow of the water would not, in fact, dump into a luxurious ocean, and (c) not all ChapStick comes with SPF. But, a Boy Scout knows that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west (or is it the other way around?), that moss grows on the north side, and…it’s probably not a good idea to be hiking in 100 degree weather.

So, the next time you find yourself stalking a potential significant other and come across an old Boy Scout picture of him, consider the merits before pushing him into the ‘swipe no’ pile.

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